intl V

Today’s news outlets are reporting that rescuers have just found a 16-year-old girl named Darlene under some rubble in Haiti. Now, keep in mind, it has been over two weeks since the quake initially struck, one week since the 6.1 aftershock, and the Haitian government called off official search-and-rescue operations 4 days ago. In light of all that, it must be said: Those Haitians are some tough motherfuckers!

Scientists are baffled. An article on ABC News’ website gave quotes from medical experts stating how it’s implausible that a teenager could make it after so long. Of course, the elements play a part — Haiti is hot, even at night, so the risk of hypothermia is greatly diminished. In my opinion, however, that does not explain why they keep finding people, nor how these victims are bouncing back after the limited treatment they receive.

Here’s my theory, as sad as it may be. Haitians in general are probably used to having very little food and water, and to being outside in the elements all day. Let’s face it, Haiti was and is a country with a high poverty rate. By contrast, many people from more developed countries have metabolisms that evolved or are conditioned to match that level of economic development. To put it crudely, there is no way my fat American ass is living for more than a week without my flat iron, let alone water. Meanwhile, Haitian Grandma was holding on for 10 days. Next thing you know, we’re going to hear a report of a pregnant lady found under some rocks. “She gave birth 2 days after the quake; she chewed through the umbilical cord and used it to signal for help. Mother and baby were given some water and fruit and are now doing fine.”

God bless those Haitians; I have never seen a more determined, resourceful, or ameliorative country of people in my life.